Ten years ago I found
myself in the Emergency
Room at Toronto General Hospital
with an appendix that had perforated about three weeks earlier. I have a strong immune system . I
was not experiencing any pain or nausea. It was only the possibility of having contracted a stomach virus that sent me
to a walk-in clinic just to check it out.
It took a CT scan to verify that I was well on the way to not surviving
the infection. While I was waiting for the antibiotics to get me in good enough
condition for surgery I contracted a Clostridium Dificil infection as well. In
the normal way of things C.Dificil stays
in the digestive system but with about a third of the peritoneum filled with
everything that had nowhere else to go when the appendix perforated the
C.Dificil affected many other cells. I
was on intravenous and oral antibiotics for several weeks. I also used a
probiotic that is very useful for C.Dificil (Saccharomyces Boulardii) and
Shakya Dorje a Tibetan Medicine Emchi (Doctor) here in Toronto brought me three
herbal preparations to help mend a very injured digestive system. All of this
worked well enough to heal my appendix which I still have to this day.
The next ten years were not without problems though. I was
exhausted, food did not give me any energy. My memory was deteriorating. Words
got lost when I was trying to carry on a conversation. I could not focus my
attention. Sleep was not restorative. As
if all that wasn’t enough I had a radial head fracture 3 months
after getting out of hospital. This happened on a Tuesday and I went back to
work on Friday of the same week, again, with the aid of Tibetan Medicine.
Financial stress was a big factor. My father also died quite unexpectedly just
as I thought that nothing else could possibly happen.
I was increasingly frustrated and frightened by the loss of
mental capacity, creeping weight gain and rapid bone loss. I’ve come to understand that these things are
in-fact very inter-related. I decided to tackle the brain function first by
getting an assessment at Arrowsmith School. I did a part-time program, 2 hours,
twice a week at Arrowsmith for 2 years
until the exhaustion became so intense I would fall asleep 20 minutes into working
on the Clock Exercise. The exercises that Barbara Arrowsmith has designed
strengthen 19 different cognitive functions. I just did not have the health or
stamina to manage the demands of class and work. It was at Barbara’s book launch (The Woman Who Changed
Her Brain) that I had a conversation with Norman Doidge, author of The Brain
that Changes Itself and How the Brain Heals, about Neurobiofeedback. It sounded
like this might be the next step for me. I went for an assessment at the ADD
Centre and started the single channel training the next week. Here was
something that could also repair the brain.
Each training session was one hour, once a week, on my day off, which
seemed much more do-able. The foundational repair work addresses the function
and relationships of Alpha, Theta, Beta and Delta brainwaves. I can tell you I had
a fair amount of emotional relief when
sleep became restorative. I started remembering dreams. Many of them were
invaluable in letting me know that my brain was once again sorting through the
leftovers of the day with more purpose and efficiency. I was refreshed by sleep
in a way that I had not been for years. Memory for simple things like a grocery
list became easy. I didn’t
have to stumble around in my mind for words or explain about Acquired Brain
Injury part way through a conversation. The insidious slide into ADD was
reversed.
Lynda Thompson, at the 40
hour re-assessment, was delighted to tell me that I had improved to the point
where I could end the training or set up a maintenance schedule. I had other ideas.
I had noticed that the Gamma brainwaves were not included in the
training. Lena, my Neurobiofeedback trainer, told me that only one other person
had done any work with gamma. I told Lynda and Lena that I wanted to be the
second person. I had read that gamma was well developed by Tibetan Buddhist
Meditators. Richard Davidson has done research with Tibetan monks and brain
imaging. I had also seen a demonstration of Tibetan healing chants, practices
and instruction at Massey Hall many years before I was in the hospital. I met
with Lho Thul Tenzin Nimya Rinpoche who is both a monk and Emchi. He gave me
some instruction and assistance that was very useful. I was working with several cancer patients at that
time. The gift of practical tools, the generosity he showed me, his deep
calmness and acceptance has not faded in my memory. It continues to inspire me.
I also knew that gamma increases conscious attention, compassion, calmness,
instinct, REM sleep and neural synchrony.
I am an Osteopath and a
Massage Therapist. I’ve been in
practice for 25 years so far. I’ve always had a
hope, a wish to be in practice for 50 years just to see what my hands would
know after that many years of people, their bodies, their unspoken expression of life communicating to my hands.
Compassion, for me, is expressed in my hands. I said to Lynda in that
conversation that while I could add techniques to my therapeutic tool kit it was the expression of well
developed gamma/compassion that I really wanted to experience over the next 25 years.
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